Single Parents, I Salute You

For those of you that know me personally, you know my husband travels quite frequently for work. Sometimes it's within the continental US, sometimes Canada, sometimes Europe. Sometimes it's an overnight trip, sometimes it's a Monday-Friday trip. ALL the time though, it means that I'm solo parenting for at least one night, usually more.

I know I give Dan a hard time sometimes about helping around the house (yes, I hate that I've turned into a nagging wife and it's far worse when I'm overtired, ugh), but the truth is, he does a TON. Actually, I think he does a lot more than most spouses do to be honest, and I know I don't thank him nearly enough. When he's gone, I truly realize all the things he does, both big and small. During the week, he cleans and tidies the house, he washes up after dinner, he washes/prepares bottles, lets the dogs out first thing in the morning and more. He does laundry and grocery shops on the weekend, along with all big projects around the house. All so I can take care of and keep the kids entertained. He really makes our household function smoothly. Which brings me to my main point of today's post.

Single parents, I salute you. I'm not talking about "sometimes" single parents. I'm not talking about parents like me who have frequently travelling spouses/partners/co-parents, although I feel your pain. I'm not talking about military spouses/partners/co-parents who have a loved one deployed, though I thank you and your entire family for the sacrifices you make for our freedom and pray for safe returns of your family. I'm talking about around the clock single parents.

Before I go on, I want to stop and say something. Some people out there might feel like it's ok to jump in and judge here, and if that's your prerogative, so be it. I'm not going to do that, because I don't feel it's fair. Somewhere along the line, people started looking down on single parents, when really we should be looking up to them. I could care less how you became a single parent. Maybe you started your family young and never married. Maybe you and your children's other parent didn't work out. Maybe you are a widow/widower. Maybe you simply just chose to be a single parent. I don't really care why or how you became a single parent, because you are doing the work of two people, day in and day out.

Unless you have a lot of money (like millions), as a single parent, you're likely busting your bum working full time. Maybe you have two jobs, and I'm guessing it's not because you just love working. You're doing it for your kids. When you come home from said job(s), you have no reprieve. You can't take a breather at all, especially if your kids are young. You're feeding them, playing with them, bathing them, and putting them to bed (early if you're lucky!). If they are older, you're taking them to sports practices or other after school activities, making dinner for them, making sure they get their homework done, and listening to their latest heartbreak of if you have more than one, trying to make sure they don't kill each other. These are just the tasks themselves. This doesn't even take into account trying to raise them to be good, kind human beings. At the end of the day, you are FINALLY able to crash after the kids are in bed and the house is picked up and you have everything packed and ready for the next day. I'm guessing somewhere around 4 hours after your head hits the pillow, your alarm is sounding (unless you have a baby, in which case you probably get a total of 2 hours of sleep a night after getting yourself to bed and in between multiple wake-ups from the baby). You get up, get the kids ready for school/daycare, etc., get them off on time (dressed and teeth/hair brushed) and are on your way to work again. You do this all on your own, and with grace (if you're breaking down, I'm not seeing it!). Somehow you find it in you to do these things day in and day out, and hardly ever complain or show how tired you are. THAT, in and of itself amazes me.

When Dan is travelling, I count the days until he returns, because as much as I love spending quality time with the girls, I miss my husband. Also, having him home to help with everything else means I get to bed at a decent time. Single parents don't have this luxury. Ever. Yes, maybe here and there they have family helping them out, but at the end of the day, it all falls on them.

Single moms, dads, etc. out there, I am in awe of you. You don't get the credit and recognition you deserve for being good parents. I hope the people in your life realize everything you do day in and day out, recognize you for that, and give you a break now and then. Whether they do or don't, I'm here to tell you to go treat yourself to a nice big cup of coffee (or wine!) and to let you know that you are doing a great job. You've got this. I admire you. And most importantly, one day, when they are older, your kids will thank you for being such an awesome parent.

#singleparent #parenting #kids