One Month In: Adjusting To Our New Normal
Well, here we are - what, 3ish weeks later than I thought I'd be posting? I'm terrible, I know. In my defense, as the title of this blog suggests, we ARE adjusting to a new normal and a new schedule. And oh yah, I'm also pregnant. So I'm begging for mercy (and patience) from y'all...AGAIN.
Also, I feel that now that the Hillary Family is about a month into our new life routine, so to speak, it would be a good time to let you all in on how it's been going! When people find out that I've become a stay at home mom (aka SAHM - honestly I don't feel like typing it out every time, so acronyms it is!), the first thing I am asked is, "How is it going?" or some variation of that question. My response - although short- is true and almost always, "I love it. Of course there are days and moments where I'm counting the minutes until Dan gets home, but overall, it's going great."
And honestly, it really is! I'm not going to lie, being a SAHM is HARD. It's an adjustment going from working 40 hours a week and having only a few hours a day with your kids to being with them from the moment you all wake up to the moment they go to bed. But I never take for granted how blessed and lucky I am to be able to do this. As I mentioned in my last blog post, I feel like I was meant to do this, but it wasn't until now that it made sense for our family. So I know the struggles of both the working mom and the mom who stays home.
I digress. It really is going pretty well though. We've had some absolutely beautiful days here weather-wise, which has certainly helped. On those gorgeous days, when the girls go down for their nap (yes, they are on the same schedule, thank goodness!), I fill up our small pool so the hose water warms up, then we have lunch when they wake up and head outside! Luckily, both of these kiddos LOVE the outdoors and the water.
(Click through to check out the pics!)
Sure, getting them in their swim suits and making sure they are slathered in sunscreen can be a bit of a task - especially for Eloise, who doesn't sit still - but seeing how much they enjoy it is totally worth it.
Anecdotal stories aside, I do have a few things that help us get through the days and weeks unscathed:
1. We get out of the house.
This is absolutely a must do. Sometimes, it's just outside to play, but usually it's to get actually OUT and about. Sometimes it's to go grocery shopping. Sometimes it's a playdate. Sometimes it's to go to story time at the library. Sometimes we don't make it to story time and just go and play at the library in the kids area, if I'm being honest. It's really any number of things that I've looked up ahead of time so we have options. But whatever it is, I've found that getting out and going somewhere or doing something is key. The days that are the worst in terms of their behavior and number of meltdowns or timeouts are the days that we don't get out.
2. We have a schedule.
OK, we have a LOOSE schedule. Both girls, Annie especially, are very routine-oriented, so I try to keep our days on a schedule. I say loose schedule because I don't follow it EXACTLY every day, and we are still finding out what works best, but the basics of our schedule include morning routines (teeth brushing and getting dressed in clothes and out of pajamas before we go downstairs), meal times, naps, and bedtime routines. I knew our mornings would be a bit different than when the girls went to daycare, but I still wanted to maintain some semblance of a routine. So I decided that we'd still keep the teeth brushing and getting dressed before starting our day as part of that. It helps me make sure we get off to a semi-organized start, and honestly makes sure I get into clothes and out of pajamas as well haha! Our mornings after breakfast are slightly more organized than our afternoons. We don't always do everything EXACTLY in the same order, but it generally goes something like this:
-Breakfast
-Playtime in the front room for a bit
-Go for a walk around 8:30/9:00am weather permitting
-Play outside for a bit when we get back from the walk
-Do something! (see point #1)
When we get back from wherever we are, we usually try to have a small snack, have Circle Time (stories on a blanket) and then head upstairs for naps. They both go down pretty well at this point and have typically been napping for about 2 hours, which gives me time to do things around the house, have my lunch, and just take a moment to sit down. Our afternoons are generally pretty unplanned. If it's nice outside, we head out and play for a while. If not, then I have a binder of different crafts or activities we can do, which we do sometimes if the weather is nice too. Here are a few different things we've done:
Some activities are obviously too advanced for Eloise, so I have alternate ideas, such as painting on tin foil. She loves it!
3. Meals are pre-planned.
I have a calendar that I make ahead of time for the entire month that shows what we will be having for breakfast, lunch, and snack. As I mentioned before, I don't ALWAYS stick to it. For example, if we have more leftovers from dinners than I thought, I'll usually use those up first. But I have it right up on our fridge, so I just have to look up on there. There is no day-of stressing out involved trying to figure out what we're going to have. Sure, it involves a little bit extra work ahead of time, but in my opinion, it's well worth it for my sanity. As far as dinners, I do what I did before I started being a SAHM: I make a list of dinner options for the week and pick a different one each day. All of this is planned BEFORE I go grocery shopping for the week (on Thursday mornings, when my mom takes the girls for a few hours), so we always have everything we need right on hand.
4. I take everything with a grain of salt and remind myself that "it won't always be this way."
For all the above awesomeness that helps us thrive instead of just survive, there are always days that we are indeed in survival mode, and those are the days that I need to take deep breaths. Sure, there are tears at times (and not just coming from the kids!), but then something sweet happens and it melts that stress (mostly) away. On those days that Eloise just won't stop (which is every day) AND Annie is being a defiant 2 year old and pushing back on everything, I honest just try to take a minute if I can, sit down, and remind myself that this stage of life won't last forever. And I tell myself that even though being a SAHM is something I've been looking forward to for a long time, it doesn't mean I have to love every minute of it. I think reminding myself of those 2 things helps me see the big picture as well as alleviate some of the guilt I place on myself for not being absolutely thrilled to be at home every minute.
There is one last thing I think that helps, but it's hard to put it into one phrase, so I think that I'll just try to put it into it's own paragraph. I'm able to get more housework done, and pick up some of the things that Dan used to do on weekends, like laundry and grocery shopping. And I'm able to just keep the house in better order. Both Dan and I have noticed that THAT alone, has helped him. He's been able to do more projects around the house on the weekends AND we can spend more time together as a family because some of those other things get done during the week. And that makes my heart happy. Just knowing that he's able to relax more and do some home projects that he's been wanting to get to for a long time, as well our family being able to enjoy time together more, well, that's probably one of the best things I could ask for.