How to Find Me Time When You're a Mom

Being a parent is something for which he hoped and prayed, for a very long time. I love being Mama and I love that my kiddos love playing with me, climbing on me, playing peekaboo with me, coloring with me, and just about everything else with me (except the getting up in the middle of the night with me - that I could do without!). But it's also physically and, if I'm being frank, emotionally draining sometimes. Annie was not feeling well most of the weekend, and was pretty clingy. Most of the time when she's like this, we call it "Having a very Mommy-Day." Depending on what's bothering her, sometimes it turns into an equal opportunity parent day and she'll go back and forth between snuggling either Dan or me, which was the case this weekend. Other times, it's very singular parent focused - and those times it's usually me (sometimes it's Dan, but mostly it's me). And while I 100% don't mind comforting my child, the reality is that it doesn't leave a whole lot of time for myself. Especially when there are multiple kids. We get one down, and the other one wakes up. Sometimes I want to look at myself when we just had Annie and if I ever thought we were busy - and I'm not talking about schedule-busy, I'm talking about just being busy at home with typical stuff - then I want to look at that Abby and just say "Girl, you have NO idea." Things I did for myself before kids, or when I had me time with one child, well, those things just aren't as much of an option these days.

I was talking with my cousin Julie yesterday at a family get together and she asked life was going, especially with two littles. I told her we are very busy, but I love it and we are very blessed. And she said something that stuck with me through the evening and is kind of the whole reason for today's blog (thanks, love!). She told me "That's so great to hear! Make sure you not only love them, but that you practice self-love too, it's so important." And you know what? She's so right. It made me think about what I do to practice that self-love and carve out some "me time" in our crazy lives.

A lot of things I see about making sure you get in "Me Time" as a parent are things like going out to a movie with your girlfriends, or getting to a yoga class. Maybe it's taking a walk by yourself or going grocery shopping alone. If I'm being completely honest, yes, those are great things. But they aren't always the most practical to employ on a regular basis. Sometimes Dan works long hours and sometimes he's travelling. This means that there are often days that, unless I'm going to get a sitter (who costs money), it's not exactly the most feasible to do those types of things.

So...drumroll please...I've come up with my own list! Sometimes, I get creative. Sometimes, it's something super simple that I do. Sometimes it's more elaborate and time-consuming. All of the time though, it's time that is just for me. Here's my list of how I fit "Me Time" into my life. I'd love to hear how other parents do it as well!

1. Take a shower - at night.

I know, parents of the world, go ahead and roll your collective eyes at me. I read everywhere how it's impossible to shower as a parent without being constantly interrupted. And for some, that may be true. However, I find that I get the most time alone - truly alone, meaning no kids, no husband, no phone, no TV, JUST me - in the shower. I take showers at night after the kids have gone to bed. And I wait probably a good 20-30 minutes after they've gone down so they are in a deep enough sleep that the sound won't wake them. This way, I can get in a nice relaxing 20-30 minute shower in. And let me tell you, that time is golden. Yes, there are nights where I am too tired and I forgo the shower. But it really is a great time to just be with myself with no distractions.

2.Nap time.

Before you skip over this, hear me out a second. I know that if you have multiple kids, this one seems impossible. As a parent of kids who tend to not nap at the same time, I don't get to take advantage of this much either. But when the stars align and both kids ARE sleeping at the same time during the day, I try to sit down and just veg out, even if it's only for 5 minutes. There are always things that need to get done around the house - ALWAYS. But that couple of minutes to simply sit down alone or with Dan and recharge without the kids needing my attention, well, sometimes that's just enough to gather myself, breathe, and keep going. If I don't sit down at all (and there are times that I don't), it usually leads to frustration. So I try to remind myself to take a seat when I can. And if I don't remember to do it myself, Dan does...

3. Pamper yourself.

Yes, this is one of those things that you can't do every day. And as much as I'd like to do it once a month, we'd go broke if I did. So I try to do this maybe once a quarter or so. I make it a big thing, like getting a new hair cut or color. If you read my review of Launch Salon, you'll know this is exactly what I did then. Making sure I carve out small chunks of time here and there for simple things for myself - like a shower - are all well and good, but I really think every now and then, I need something that lasts a couple of hours and I leave feeling new and refreshed. For me, it makes a big difference. After getting pampered like this, I can deal with whatever is thrown my way for a while because I had that LONG re-charge time. If getting your hair done isn't your thing, that's ok. Get a mani/pedi, get a massage. Just do SOMETHING that gets you out of the house and is focused on no one but you for a while. It's even better if there is no set end time, because you're taking yourself away from any sort of schedule. Sure, you'll probably end up talking about your kids, but someone will be taking care of YOU, and that makes a huge difference.

4. Get yourself a subscription box of something you enjoy.

I've found over the past few years that I love subscription boxes, as you know if you've been following the blog. They are SO easy. Right now, I'm signed up for Birchbox and Stitch Fix. Sure, they cost money and it's not free like sitting down or taking a shower, but it gives me something fun to look forward to, and it's just about ME. There are tons of different boxes out there for various interests. Maybe yours is about healthy food. Maybe it's about survival gear (Dan had one of these for a while). It There are also lots of different companies that do these types of boxes. So maybe you want beauty products but Birchbox isn't your jam. There are tons of other companies that do similar things. All you really need to do is Google "beauty products (or whatever type of box you want) subscription box" and you'll get lots of different options to choose from. I like getting my boxes because it's a little surprise to look forward to every month. And it forces me to take a couple minutes out of my day when they come to look at the products and in the case of Stitch Fix, try everything on and decide what to keep. It's both the treat itself and fun of treating yourself by going shopping without making a trip out of it. Of course, it's beneficial to get out and go do something, but on the days that you want to treat yourself but can't make it out of the house, this is a way to do it in 5 minutes. And you don't have the stress of looking through an entire store for what you want because that's already done for you.

5. Watch guilty pleasure TV. Or just watch something you enjoy on TV.

This is another VERY simple thing, but as you know, hard to do sometimes. When both Dan and I are home, I usually relinquish the remote to him and let him choose what we are watching. It's not that I don't have an opinion, it's just that I know that watching things like PTI on ESPN, or a football game or documentary is how Dan winds down. Also, it's not that I don't need winding down too, I just wind down differently than he does. And to be honest, I know his days at work are generally more involved and tiring than mine are - he just works with and talks to more people on a daily basis. So I recognize it's really important to let him wind down. We have a number of shows that we DVR, so after he's had his time to just relax and decompress for the day, sometimes we'll watch one of those shows together. All of that being said though, if he's travelling for work, I will turn on TBS and watch Friends on repeat. Or, now that it's after Halloween, I'm all about the 24/7 Hallmark Christmas movies. So when he leaves on another work trip this week, you can bet that after the girls go to bed and everything is ready for the next day, I'll be reveling in the glorious-ness that is a cheesy and predictable Hallmark Christmas movie. I've already DVR-ed one of my faves:

6. A quiet car ride.

This is something SO simple, yet sometimes SO hard to do. I'm lucky enough that I have a few minutes each day before and after daycare pick-up and drop-off that I have some quiet time alone in the car, but I know that not everyone has that. And to be honest, I'm not really great at letting that be a relaxing time, and it's really only about 5 minutes each way. I did however, have it last night on the way back from our family get together. Dan unfortunately couldn't make it, so it was just the girls and me in the car. They are both pretty good travellers and fell asleep both on the way there and on the way back, so it was quiet in the car for roughly 30 minutes each way. Sure, I was driving so it wasn't like I was napping or anything. But I had Christmas music on, was driving on country roads with minimal traffic, and it was otherwise silent. So I took a deep breath, smiled, and enjoyed the heck out of it. Sometimes, that's all I really need. Whether you have the kids sleeping in the car or are by yourself, I'd try to just go out and drive somewhere, even if it's only for 20 minutes. If you can get outside of the city, even better.

It's so important, like cousin Julie said, to fit it time for yourself at any point in your life, but especially when you become a parent. That focus of self-care suddenly goes away because you have another human that you are responsible for and it's very easy - and honestly pretty automatic - to put your needs to the side. So thanks Jules for the reminder!

For all of the parents out there, how do you find ways to fit "Me Time" into your days?

#MeTime #parenting