Motherhood Confessions: What Moms Wish Other People Understood

Being a mom has been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember. I imagined having a couple of kids, doing fun things during the summer like I did when I was young, teaching my little ones lots of interesting things, and just loving on my kiddos as hard as I could. I started babysitting other people's kids at age 12, and it came very easily to me, so I knew that I was destined to become a mom at some point in my life.

When you become a parent, suddenly your life isn't yours any more. I don't necessarily mean that in a bad way - more of a matter-of-fact way. Your capacity to love expands to a level you never thought possible, and you have a whole new appreciation for pretty much everything in life, both good and bad. You perceive things differently. Gone are the days where the news was just the news - yes, horrible things happened before I had kids, but I never really felt the TRUE impact of these type of events, especially if I wasn't directly impacted, until I started thinking about my children growing up exposed to tragedies. On the flip side, you find that you have an entirely new appreciation for the small things in life. I would have never gotten excited about someone else's baby laughing for the first time, or saying their first word. But when it happens with my kids? I want to shout it from the rooftops! Big and small things aside, I also sometimes (ok often times) just want a night off, or even better, an entire weekend, where I am not being crawled on, puked on and basically spending my entire day sitting on the floor because that's the level at which my kids can communicate best.

I know I'm not alone in feeling the good, the bad, and the ugly about being a mom. This prompted me to reach out to the other mamas in my life - and there are a lot - and ask them the following question:

What do you wish other people knew about being a Mom?

These amazing moms come from all walks of life. They are work outside the home moms. They are stay at home moms. They are single moms. They are same sex couple moms. They are military moms. They are moms of multiples. They are moms who adopted. They are moms who home-school.

At the end of the day though, they are all MOMS. And this is what they wish other people knew about being "Mom." Some of these may make you laugh, some might make you cry. I hope, when all is said and done though, that it all makes you think a little bit more about the moms in your life, and treat them kindly. They all do an amazing job!

I wish people knew that while motherhood is the most amazing job on the planet, you'll sacrifice much of yourself. And finding the balance to get back to yourself - or to find your new self - doesn't happen quickly! It takes nine months to grow that baby... and about double that to find any semblance of balance! Angela, 34

I wish people knew that breastfed babies nurse a LOT! I’m not “hogging” my baby so you can’t hold him, trust me my arms could use a break, but building my milk supply requires frequent nursing! Maggie, 35

I wish people knew how hard it is to get a baby sitter. Some parents are blessed in the fact that they can call up someone in a flash and bam! Sitter covered. It's not like that for most and we have had to sacrifice a lot of time away from friends because of it. I'm thankful for those friends that still ask me to come out time and time again after we have had to say no a million times. Those friends are worth keeping. [Because yes, people do stop asking.] Nicole, 28

What I wish people knew about being a mom is how revealing it is about who you actually are - not the person you want everyone to see - and that is freeing. My kids internalize my upsets in ways that reveal how damaging my own thinking (even about myself) can be, and it makes me want to get to the bottom of all that so that there is space for them to be who they really are without my "stuff" getting in the way, crowding out their development. I also wish people knew that I’m still learning – I’m seeing how other people's "stuff" isn't mine, and how to set it down peacefully, without judgment. That's hard because I love judgment (It is so much easier than wrestling with the complexity of imperfection). Kendra, 42

I wish people knew that I still want to be invited to evening events and things like that. I love being home with my family, but I still like to be included in things with my non-mom friends. Also, I wish people knew that they don't have any inherent right to hold a baby that isn't theirs. Like, get over yourselves, this little person just came out of my body and is hungry all the time! Erica, 35

I wish that people really TRULY understood that being a Mom is the most challenging but rewarding job ever!!! It's not really a job but a privilege. I have 3 boys and have been through so many storms and don’t always have all the answers. So I always seek God through those storms and He provides a path for me to be the Mom I am meant to be! Do I yell? Never! Hahah, of course I do! Do I apologize? Yes! Do I get inpatient? Yes, of course! But what I do the most is I love. I listen and enjoy the organized chaos around me. I want people to know that each day is a new day, don't be so hard on yourself and DO NOT look to social media for reassurance. Instead, you're a bit obsessive me, make lists and be okay with asking for help and do not, I repeat DO NOT go behind them and fix what they did (wait til they're asleep)! Jennifer, 34

I wish people knew that showering every day and wearing clothes without someone else’s food on them is a luxury as a stay at home mom. I also wish people knew that you will indeed find yourself humming Daniel Tiger or Sesame Street songs…even when your child isn’t around. Monica, 31

I wish that people knew that food intolerances are real. I didn't give up dairy and soy for the fun of it. It's actually a huge sacrifice but my baby is in legit pain when I have dairy or soy. It's not something I made up and yes, even "a little bit" of cheese, milk, butter, ice cream, etc. is enough to hurt my baby. Rita, 37

I wish people knew how hard it is to be a working mother in today's society, no matter where we are located in the world. There's a stigma with certain generations and/or cultures about working mothers because the expectation of a female is to stay at home and solely nurture, raise, and care for their offspring. Trust me, this is a thing because I have experienced this first hand. This is REAL. Being a working mother does not mean I love my children less, I work because I want to provide other opportunities for my family, allow the possibilities to vacation and explore the world, to show that women are equal to men, and to demonstrate responsibility. It is possible to have more than one dream. Being a mother is the most amazing, rewarding, and hard experience I've yet had to endure. My little people depend on me and with this, I want to be there for them in every possible way. This includes sharing my work dreams. I want them to see that it's possible to do both, and help them realize they can have so many different accomplishments in their life. Children want to be just like their parents, so if I can be a good role model in society, share my talents and experiences... I can only hope they will have a great future. Jessica, 30

I wish people knew that it is completely normal for a baby to not sleep through the night, even until they are over a year! Stop asking if he's sleeping through the night or how I'm going to fix it. There is nothing wrong with him. Jennifer, 32

I wish people knew how hard it is to have a colicky baby/ baby with tummy trouble! I'm not avoiding going out with you but it's hard finding someone comfortable enough to watch a screaming baby! Also, my baby's not an asshole for crying when you hold her...I get she's crying...she's uncomfortable so stop judging my baby! Maria, 33

I wish people knew that being touched by my kids all day is emotionally and physically exhausting…and that sometimes I want to tell my husband, “No, I don’t want to snuggle. I want a giant bubble 40 feet around me and a sign that says: Touch me and you die – but I still love you!” JJ, 29

Special thanks to all of the amazing mamas that contributed to this post!

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